Respect, and what it means

From the last blog I wrote, my daughter asked me what it means to be respectful or to respect someone. As I thought about her question, I realized that many people today struggle to define what true respect really is. Because of that, I decided to write about what respect means.

The reality is that many people have a distorted understanding of respect, and this misunderstanding is one of the reasons why we have become so disrespectful toward one another. Some believe respect must be earned before it is given, while others think respect means agreeing with everything someone says or does. But is that truly what respect is?

Respect, in its simplest form, is recognizing the value and dignity of another person. As Christians, we understand that every human being is created in the image of God and therefore has inherent worth. This does not mean we must agree with everyone, approve of every lifestyle, or accept every belief. Rather, it means we are called to treat others with honor, kindness, and decency because God created them.

The Bible speaks clearly on this matter. 1 Peter 2:17 says:

"Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor."

Notice that Scripture says to honor everyone, not just those we like, agree with, or think deserve it. Respect is not based on feelings; it is based on obedience to God.

Likewise, Romans 12:10 (ESV) says:

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."

In a world where people compete to elevate themselves, Christians are called to compete in showing honor to others.

As we move forward in this discussion, we must first understand that respect is not weakness, compromise, or blind agreement. True respect is treating others in a manner that reflects the character of Christ while standing firmly on the truth of God's Word. When we fail to understand this, we create confusion, division, and unnecessary conflict. But when respect is rooted in biblical truth, it becomes a powerful reflection of the grace and wisdom that God has shown to us.

As we can clearly see, God defines respect very differently from the way the world defines it, and this is where so many people get it wrong. We are often looking for some type of outward affirmation, recognition, or validation from others, as if we are entitled to it. The truth is that we are not owed the praise of men, nor do we deserve the honor that we so often demand from others.

In our sinful nature, we tend to believe that people owe us respect simply because of who we are. Yet Scripture paints a very different picture of humanity. The Bible teaches that the only thing we are truly owed because of our sin is judgment and death. However, God, because of His mercy, grace, and love, chose to offer us life through Jesus Christ.

Romans 6:23 says: "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Let that sink in for a moment. The wages of sin, what we have earned and deserve, is death. Yet God, in His goodness, offers us a gift that we could never earn for ourselves. Instead of humbly receiving that gift with gratitude, many of us spend our lives seeking the approval of others and demanding a level of respect that we ourselves have not earned.

Respect should never be rooted in pride or self-exaltation. True respect begins with understanding who God is and who we are considering His holiness. When we recognize that everything, we have is by the grace of God, it becomes much easier to show humility, patience, and respect toward others.

Let me give a few examples. If a police officer comes to you, are you not expected to honor him or, as we often say, respect him because he is an officer of the law? Yet I would bet that many people today would tell their children, "You only need to respect him if he respects you first." We can see countless videos and examples online showing how that mindset has worked out for those individuals, and most of the time it does not end well.

The problem is that we have made respect conditional. We have turned it into a transaction. We say, "I will respect you if you respect me." But that is not the standard God has given us in His Word. Biblical respect is not based on what someone does for us first. It is based on God's commands and our obedience to Him.

In the same way, Scripture calls us to honor and respect our parents. God does not say, "Honor your father and mother only if they honor you first." He does not say, "Respect them only when they have earned your approval." Rather, He gives this command as a matter of obedience.

Exodus 20:12 teaches:

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you."

Notice that the command is clear and direct. The focus is not on what parents do first. The focus is on our responsibility before God. This does not mean parents are perfect or that children must approve of every decision their parents make. Rather, it means that God has established an authority structure, and He calls us to honor it.

The same principle applies to many areas of life. We are called to honor those in authority, respect our elders, and treat others with dignity, not because they are always right, but because obedience to God requires us to do so. When respect becomes conditional, it is no longer rooted in God's truth but in our emotions and personal preferences.

What if God treated us the same way many of us treat others? What if He said, "I will love you only after you love Me," or "I will show you grace only after you deserve it"? None of us would have any hope. Yet God demonstrates His mercy toward sinners who have done nothing to earn it. In the same way, biblical respect often requires us to do what our flesh does not want to do. It requires humility, self-control, and submission to God's commands.

Romans 5:8 reminds us:

"but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Respect, therefore, is not merely about how others treat us. It is ultimately about how faithfully we obey God. When we understand that truth, respect ceases to be a bargaining tool and becomes an expression of Christian character.

The world teaches us to ask, "What have they done to deserve my respect?" Scripture teaches us to ask, "How can I honor God in the way I treat others?" Those are two very different standards. One is rooted in pride and self-interest; the other is rooted in humility and obedience.

As Christians, we are called to follow the latter. We are called to honor others because God commands it, to show kindness because God has shown kindness to us, and to extend respect because every person bears the image of God. When we live this way, we reflect the character of Christ to a watching world and demonstrate the transforming power of the gospel in our daily lives.

 As always, may this blog be a blessing to all who pass through my blog page, and may it bring you a closer walk with our Lord & Savior.

Grace & Peace

Shalom